Hotel California
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Answer to the Black Cat or Tuxedo? challenge. Ralph encounters strange occurrences at a very strange hotel.


Note: Thanks go to the Eagles' song "Hotel California" for the inspiration.

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Ralph sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He was driving back from a weekend teachers' convention that'd proven itself to be quite boring.

It was late and the highway Ralph was on was almost desolate. The night air was cool after a relatively warm day, so he had his window rolled down. Out of the darkness, a light ahead caught his attention. He noticed how the light practically shimmered.

As he neared, he realized it was a hotel, which was exactly what he'd been looking for. He pulled into the parking lot, parked, and cut the engine. Ralph felt so tired, all he wanted to do was check in and go to sleep.

Ralph made his way up the walk and noticed a woman standing in the doorway, a pair of glass double doors behind her. "Must be the Concierge," he told himself. Somewhere in the distance, he heard twelve chimes, signaling midnight. He stepped up to the woman and smiled, "Hello."

The woman struck a match and lit the candle she held. "Follow me, please."

Ralph found the hallway dark, just as dark as it was outside. An eerie feeling crept over him. He shook his head and told himself he was making it up. That is, until he heard voices coming from down the hall, though he couldn't make out what they were saying. He gulped.

The woman stopped in front of a doorway.

Ralph, however, was lost in thought and ended up walking into her. "I'm so sorry!"

The woman said nothing. Instead, she opened the door she stood next to and pointed in that direction.

Ralph stepped through the door. Moonlight shown over the greenery. It took a moment for his brain to register that the room was a greenhouse.

The room was large, and in the center was a courtyard. Ralph walked along the pathway to get a closer look. He found a group of people dancing... all men. He did a double-take upon seeing the woman who'd led him to the room already in the courtyard dancing.

"This is weird," Ralph muttered to himself. He turned to head back up the path and nearly ran into a man who seemed to have suddenly appeared behind him. In the dark, Ralph didn't have a good look at the man's face, but he could've sworn it looked familiar. Ralph grinned. "So, uh, do you have any wine here?"

The man shook his head. Then Ralph thought he heard the voices again, slightly louder this time, but still undecipherable.

The man reached out and took Ralph's hand. Ralph jumped at the touch... and realized he couldn't pull away. The man pulled him out of the greenhouse, back into the hallway and past a few doors, before stopping at one and opening it. He shoved Ralph in and followed, closing the door after him, while Ralph stumbled to the floor.

Ralph, sprawled on the floor, looked up. He was at the foot of a bed adorned in dark sheets. He started to get up, but was then picked up, and he realized the man was still there. He pushed Ralph over, causing the blond to flop onto the bed. Ralph rolled over and, before sitting up, saw the mirror on the ceiling.

Ralph's heart was pounding in his chest. He had no idea of what was going on, or why. He did know that he didn't like the way it was going. Sitting up, he finally got a good look at the man's face. It was his own face, but the curly hair was longer and looked like it was jet black.

"We have champagne," the man spoke. Not only did he have Ralph's face, but he had his voice, also..

Ralph gulped. How he wished he had the suit, then he wouldn't be in this predicament. He pushed back on the bed farther. His eyes widened as the man walked around the bed, moving closer to him. Ralph rolled, but didn't move quick enough. His twin grabbed him under his arms and pulled him back.

The last thing Ralph remembered was crying out for help.

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The main hall was made up for a great feast. Many tables adorned the room, as well as guests. Silver serving trays were set up around the room. People began to sit as a pair walked through a set of double doors.

Ralph's head was spinning. His twin was helping him remain standing.

The twin wore an evil smirk as he helped Ralph sit at a nearby table. The woman who'd brought Ralph in walked up to them. She motioned to the man and he nodded. She walked away.

"The feast is beginning."

"Feast?" Ralph asked, wearily. He knew he wasn't hungry, but had no energy to argue. He watched hazily as everyone was seated and the trays were uncovered. Each tray seemed to have one form or another of some type of dead animal.

Ralph could tell what each animal was. His stomach turned and he gagged at the sight. Then a shout caught his attention. He turned his head and watched as two people chased after an animal.

A black and white creature ran across the floor. A woman said that whatever it was, it looked like it had a white goatee. The man next to her asked, "Was that a black cat? Or a tuxedo?"

Ralph would've atleast grinned at the humor if his stomach hadn't been doing backflips. He felt ill. Images of the dead animals flashed through his mind... as well as the returning memory of what his twin had done to and with him.

He jumped up and ran for the double doors. He skidded just outside them and ran back down the hall. Reaching the end, Ralph found a man in a suit who looked oddly enough like a valet. "How do I get out of here?" Ralph asked, his voice weak.

"Relax," he began, "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

Ralph jaw hung open. No! his brain screamed. He pushed around the suited man and ran down the hallway he'd come in through. He spotted the main entrance and ran as fast as he could. All that blocked his way were the glass double doors. He knew this was going to hurt and leave a mark.

Ralph put his arms over his face and crashed through the glass doors, shattering them. He kept running and finally reached the station wagon. He jumped in and peeled out as fast as the car would allow, burning some rubber. Within seconds, the hotel was left in the dust.

Ralph sighed, finally relaxing a bit. He hit the radio dial and a song came on.

_Welcome to the hotel california_

_Such a lovely place_

_Such a lovely face_

_Plenty of room at the hotel california_

_Any time of year, you can find it here_

Ralph hit the radio dial again, turning the radio off, and screamed as the car continued down the road.

-End-


End file.
